You don't know me at all

It really sucks when someone says that you don't know them. Especially when all you want to is get to know everything about them!!

Not so smokefree

I was trying so hard to not smoke today but its like the shittest day at work. Ugh I hate it. I wish I could just change how everything was run. I told my area manager how I should just be in charge. He laughed, but knew I was being serious. I just wanna go on the hoe, on the beach or on the beacon. Perfect.

Agitated

I'm feeling really agitated for some reason, I think its coz im confused. I dunno if I would wanna move back home or stay here. I feel like im in a limbo, not quite sure of myself. There's pros and cons for both places. I'm not sure where il be happiest though... Is there any point moving back home? Will i be able to make things work up here? Arghhh dunno need a coffee with some to just sit down and chill and chat

Finally.....

Have you ever thought about your perfect date? I know what mine would be and it wouldn't cost much. It wouldn't be to please the girl either, coz if I have to go out of my way to make them enjoy themselves then its not gonna work. If they're naturally happy with what's goin on then you know that you're quite similar to them, and you would be able to hang out with this person again and again. I know exactly what my perfect date is, one day hopefully il have it!

This blog sux

Looking at my posts, they all seem to be either me hating life or about how i need someone.

I'm such a moody needy bastard.

Two Tales

I've got a story, everybody has
mines not interesting, my love in a cast
your standard average heartbreak
take the sails down the mast
I have two tales, one i hope lasts.


one to ground you
the other to stop
one or the other
never to swap
one so painful
the other so playful
You can have two anchors
so always be careful
one will pull the strings
the other will break them
dangerous fingers
never to ring
each to their own
i wish you weren't shown
what im capable of
my cover is blown

I'm writing my story, time to ink
It may not be intersting, my heart will not sink
Once more into the abyss you call your love
Locked in your stare, but now i can blink
i need to go searching for my missing link

Blurgh.

I feel like poop. Not really a blog but interesting all the same.

Hook Line and Sinker

You know that feeling where you just really wanna see someone. You don't know what you would do or say, you just wish you could see their face. Give that person a hug or receive a cuddle off of someone else or just wanting to see that person one more time. I wanna do this.
I wanna see my mum and give her a hug.
I wanna go see my gran and just hold her hand.

And i want that cuddle off of this certain person, i don't even care if its just for a minute and then i shoot off again. Just sit on the sofa watching tv with them in the room or something.

Sometimes people just need that someone there, and i know who i want in my present company right now...

Me and this person have got so comfortable so quickly with each other, our introduction was a hug. Towards the end of our first meeting up i was getting a reaction to put my arm around her. I feel like i can just be myself around her, and my stress levels lower and a smile appears on my face. :)

I like this, alot.

I am rubbish

I am rubbish at this whole life thing. I constantly make mistakes and fuck up, or just dont take opportunities or make the wrong choices, either way if life was a game then i would have ran out of lives by now.

i dunno what to do

12 things to do in 2012 (UPDATE)

1. Join a gym When I can be bothered

2. Move out into own place Soon

3. Pass marketing course

4. Get a piercing (hip) Hmm prob never

5. Get a tattoo designed IN PROGRESS

6. Get to the next level in my job Unlikely

7. Save up £2,5oo LOL

8. Go camping Maybe hopefully :)

9. Go abroad Tickets to Italy booked!

10. Go to three gig's Ed Sheeran and Nero Booked

11. Start seeing someone ...<3....

12. Get a new car God, I need a new one

Take2

So I got this new phone and downloaded this app where I can post to my blog! Can't edit or anything though and still getting used to it but just expect more posts!! =D

My new phone.

Time to solve the cube

Hatin life.

Reading back through my blog, my mood goes up and down like a cliché yo-yo. Well this evening Im down. I just get this overwhelming feeling of massive 'can't-be-assed-ness'. Not like me being lazy and not bothering to do something I mean with life in general.

Like what is the point in putting effort into something when you don't get anything in return.

It's like setting a goal you know your never gonna achieve. Why bother setting it, you start off all hunky dory and motivated, but you know you're just going to fail and be miserable because of it.

I set off to live in Bristol to get away from things and start afresh, but I never wanted to move in the first place. So I was bound to fail and now I just feel crap because of it.

But its not just that, everything just makes you feel crap. Your job, your social and love life and money are the key things that bring people down. Why is that these things can make other people so happy. Are there certain people in the world that just aren't meant to be happy?

Well I used to be happy, but I got that taken from me, and now every time I try and rebuild my happiness it gets thrown back in my face.

I always say I'm not gonna bother trying, and then the next day I pick myself up and motivate myself again and keep going.

I live with constant false hope, and it sucks gravy ass.

So, tonight before I go bed, I'm gonna solve my rubik's cube and feel good about myself knowing that I'm one a of a few amount of people that can do it.

Good. Night.

One lil thing

Its just the one lil thing that can bring you down,

a feelin, an idea, a thought or a sound

a spoken word, an unwanted answer,

something more physical like a disease or cancer

you thought you had it figured

it slips away from ur grasp

you never had it figured

your ego just amassed

infatuated, deluded

clutching at straws

your life is a mess

try and make it yours

Can you ever get over an ex?

Can anyone get over a serious relationship ending before you wanted it to end?

Short Answer - No

Of course you can't. Its like a feeling of mourning, a massive part of you dying.

When you hear that sentence leave those lips you adored so much, your heart does actually sink. You get that feeling in your chest, stomach and nothing will be the same again.

Forgiveness? Not an option. Revenge? Maybe. Depression? Definitely. Regret? Hells yeah.

But regret for what? For the relationship? For what happened? Yes, in the moment I guess you do feel regret, but at least that stops. Well it should do.

If in 6 months time you still feel regret, then you have to have a long hard think about what you're regretting because what has happened, has shaped who you are now. No matter what happens in your life, you are you because of it.

"Everything happens for a reason"

So if my ex never cheated on me, I wouldn't be living with my brother and his family. I wouldn't be as close to my 2 year old niece as I am now. I wouldn't have a full time job. I wouldn't have met some of the people who I feel if I didn't meet, I would be gutted. I wouldn't have experienced 'Shit The Bed'. I wouldn't have gone pub with my mate every few weeks. I wouldn't have got to know my brother so well, before I moved here I never really knew him. I wouldn't have been one of the first to know that my sister-in-law was pregnant again. I wouldn't have Ed Sheeran and Nero tickets. This blog wouldn't have been created. I wouldn't have found out how much some people care about me. I wouldn't have met a certain someone and her lovely mum. And most importantly of all - I wouldn't be who I am right now...

William Robert Teague

2nd April 1991

Before. Then. Now.

I much prefer the 'Now' picture.

Amazing how things can change...

Things can change in a blink of an eye. Your mood, the weather, your hopes and dreams and your worries and fears. And its amazing how one thing can just take away everything and make it feel like nothing is changing. Thats how i feel right now, i feel like nothing is changing but i feel like im moving forward with life, myself and generally everything. But I am one to get wrapped up in my own little bubble and to over exaggerate things, so in a days time i could be completely different. Like i said, things can change in a blink of an eye.

But theres been this one thing in my life now for only a lil while which seems to be a constant. I can rely on this one thing to ground me and bring me back to earth. Even though its the same thing that gets me wrapped up in my own lil bubble.

yes I still want to move back to devon, but i could do that later. I could stay in bristol, yate for a couple years and then move on. But im not making plans, im fed up of making long term plans. Im gonna live for the here and now, well, ish. You have to plan certain things ;)

But yeah, this one thing - I am so glad its entered my life. Makes me happy, makes me smile. And i hopes stays in my life for a long long time, because that thing, is the thing thats keeping me in Yate, and more importantly, keeping me going on with life :)

A few ways to get someone to like you...

So someone recently asked me how you can get someone to like you and as it was valentines day yesterday maybe this is a bit late, but meh - Here are some class A tips! (WARNING: these will never work and should not be attempted)

If you like someone, and feel theres that little spark perhaps, then there are a couple ways to seem more likable to that person -

1) Make them laugh! If you are naturally funny and can make that person laugh then they will like you a helluva lot more then they did. Laughter is key and if you share the same sense of humour then its awesome.

2) Be there for that person. Theres nothing worse then being down and the one person you want to be there for you isn't, so make sure that when the other person just needs a smile put back on there face then you should do it! If you can do number one then number two will be easy.

3) Trust the person and they will trust you back. Trust is a massive thing in any relationship and should be the number one priority.

4) Treat them nice. If its a hug or a cuppa tea, a small gesture can make a big impression.

5) Have a laugh. If you hang out with this person, and theres a constant smile on both your faces then you know things are going well.

So yeah, easy simple ways that everyone should know really. But be careful, if u actually like this person as in want to be with them, then make sure you dont get friend zoned!

Britains next top model

Britain's next top model should be me. I would love to be the face of Topman, it would be awesome. I like all the clothes and the styles and i want a cool haircut. So yes, i want to be a model

For Barri

Possible ways to die

As Barri isnt in the happiest of moods i thought id try and cheer them up by listing possible ways they could die -

1) You choke on your own hair when you're chewing it, and die.
2) You're in such a rush to see me at work, you fail to notice how the travelator is actually never ending, and you keep running up it, but you never get to the top, and because of exhaustion, you die.
3) You to try to take off a tshirt, but you get trapped in it, and die.
4) You are really angry with your phone as its crap and you throw it against the wall, and it rebounds and hits you in the face, and you die.
5) You make a time machine, go back in time, get eaten by a dinosaur, and die.
6) At the Ed Sheeran gig, you cry so much, you get dehydrated, and die.
7) Your so excited to meet me outside of work, your heart beats too fast, and you die.
8) Your watching TV, and want to be on the TV show, like TOWIE, so you try and climb into the TV, only for it to fall on you, and squish you, and you die.
9) You mistake a ginger guy with a guitar as Ed Sheeran, and when you realise its not Ed, you slap him, but then this guy is actually an axe wielding maniac, gets his axe out of his guitar case and chases after you. You run away into the woods, and live there for the rest of your life in hiding, and die.
10) The axe wielding maniac misses you, slices off his own head, you slip on his pool of blood, hit your head, and die.


Hope this somehow cheers you up :)

Chapter 2 of 2012

So its February and Ive done nothing on my list. My main concern at the moment is getting the MOT done on my car, but cba. I cba to do alot of things. Im pretty lazy, like barri.

What i do want to do though is go to a few different gigs and work out what to do for my 21st! No ideas what so ever so far, plus with my zero amount of friends its hard to work something out. hm, fml.

Anyway I have a headache