I just found melted chocolate on my stomach...

Finally, a happy post.

 I just sent a night night text to my beautiful girlfriend saying about going to la la land and having sweet dreams and such.

And then i realised, im already in la la land. Im already living the dream. Its not perfect, but its surreal. If you told me 2 years ago that I would be living in Bristol (Yate) by myself and a few house mates, with a full time phoneshop job and the most dropdead gorgeous girlfriend ever. I would have thought, if that is true, that sounds like a lot of work im not gonna do, so no, lies.

 Im really really fussy when it comes to girls, like majorly fussy. So when people ask me about my type, i dont really know what to say. But i knew that when i first laid my eyes on Harri, she was my type.

Long hair - check
Long thick hair - check check
Gorgeous, naturally pretty face - check
Small proportioned nose - check
Collar bones - check
Slim skinny figure but with curves in the right place - check check check
Fashion sense - definite check
Did i mention the hair? - Check

Shes amazing :) And i wouldnt be here now with out her.

<3

Everything just go away, please?

I want everything to disappear.. I want to be in devon.. I want to be fit and healthy.. I want to stop being so stubborn.. I want some money.. I want to stop giving up so easy.. I want memories to be erased.. I want to learn to fight.. I want to stop being left behind.. I want to impress.. I want to feel the sea breeze passing through me.. I want to run and never stop.. I want to hide.. I want to stop being such a fuck up.

what is the point?

when i think of a perfect life, it really couldnt be more different from what it is now. Im not talking about having millions of pounds, a fancy house, fancy lifestyle and being famous or whatever, i mean that would be nice, but its just a fantasy. Its not going to happen.

I am just a distinctly average joe. I have a day job, i work hard for little money, never go anywhere, never fulfil life dreams, pay my taxes, retire, and die.
And if im going to do that, i at least wanna be happy when i do it, right?
Can you be happy when you do it? Course you can.

Its all about the who,what,why,when,where and how.

It depends on who you are with.
What you are doing as a job, and socially.
Why you do it, what are your reasons?
When you do things in your life, its all about timing.
Where do you live your life.
And how do you do everything.

Pretty vague things, but if you think about it, if all these things are positive your life would be pretty perfect.

I have never had a good circle of mates, i have a couple of close people around me but they come and go.
Im beginning to hate my job and i dont have a social life.
I do things, because i have to. If i didnt, i would die.
My timings in life have always been shit.
I live my life in the wrong place, feels like another country.
And how do i do everything? Pretty damn lazily.

I dont give a flying monkeys about anything tbh. I really really dont. If by a miracle i did win the lottery, there are plenty of things i would love to do, but in the end, all i wanna do is lay in bed and watch tv, play xbox and be on my laptop.

I dont care for anything, i dont even care for myself. I only eat, because my body needs at least one small meal a day. If i had my way i wouldnt eat at all. I am perfectly fine with wasting away in my bed.

Yeah its a pretty loserish thing to do, but thats how much i just dont care.

I dont care.

About anything.


I really, really don't.