cant sleep

feel like i need to go for a midnight run or something. except its not midnight. ohh.

Perranporth!!

So another thing is gonna be ticked off next week...IM GOING CAMPING!!

Me and Harri are going to go down to Perranporth for a couple nights after finally booking it and begging for the time off work :)

My moods have began to level out a bit now, still a little shaky though. Beginning to get a grip on them though, been pretty good recently however. Have been to Bristol Harbour festival which was pretty cool. Had a kangaroo burger and a nice walk down the waterfront! Been spending my dough a bit too much casually and back to budgeting for the next 10 days until payday. Not ideal with camping happening just before payday but oh wells!

Been smoking so much recently too and wanna get a handle on that. I do need to quit cos il save the money! Plus it will make Harri happy. Been together 4 months now which have flown by. Not been without its drama but well worth it when i see her smiley gorgeous little face. Just wish she wouldnt be so scared about my moods! Its not down to you babe!! I promise :) I just have issues i guess but im sorting it.

Sat out in the garden on my day off and its so blimming hot! Lush, although it looks like Snoopy has just shat everywhere and it stinks. Lovely. Cheers for that dog.

If my calculations are correct i will have some xtra moolah next month so gonna get me a bench and start working on my upper body. Im so weak and it sucks (omg snoopy that stinks)

Anyways time to chillax with some tunes and enjoy the rest of my day off. Even if there are only a few hours left :(

necessity

After a hard day sometimes you just need to sit back, have a cider, have a pizza and have a cigarette. Its the little things in life and you have to slow down and appreciate what you have and what you have to gain.

Self conscious

When the media blasts you with what you should do and look like, and when the public take it all in and follow trends; its hard to think you're perfect. Constantly comparing yourself to other people even if its celebs or friends or strangers can be so damaging to self esteem.
However you just have to remember YOU are YOU. You're always going to be you. Nothing can change that apart from you. Why would you want to change yourself though? Why try and fit into the media and public image. Be different. BE SOMEONE YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH. No one else matters. If I want to go out in joggers, bed hair and a vest top, I should do it. If i want to be a geek and learn about world events, I will. Fuck it, if i want to be a clown i should fucking do it.

The most important thing is just being you. Don't better yourself cos you think you're not perfect, because 99 times out of a 100, you already are. Being yourself equals being perfect. In my eyes anyway.

But, hey, I complain about this and that about myself... I'm skinny and weak. Well.....I should go to the gym then...but only because I want to. If im doing it to 'fit in' then fuck the other guys. Haters gon' hate no matter what you do.

So i'll change for me. Like i said no one else matters. Just moi.

The xx - Angels

Chloe

WOW! Over 2000 views for the blog, cant believe i've hit so many!

So yeah the other day i was hating life but it was just one of those phases. I get really negative and think the world is against me :( feeling a bit better now though. Have gone out with my mate who i havent seen in ages and had a good catch up and finally met Chloe...and what a cutie! Cannot wait to start building towers that she can knock down! I need to get her a lil teddy, from me :)

I've got some savings this month, but dunno if they will last. 19 days until payday! we will see though. If not i will have to decide what to spend it on. A piercing? Bench? Clothes? Keep it saved for deposit on car insurance? hmmmmm who knows

new addition

So there is a new addition to the Teague family, my brother has added a lovely daughter to his family. Chloe Elizabeth Teague :)

I am really happy for them and cant wait to meet her!


Its just such a shame that right now i am hating life. Again i just feel like nothing is going right.

FML

Where too??

So over halfway through the year so i should be over halfway through my list. But im not. Bad times. Really need to start saving up my money... so hard to do though! Really need the willpower!

Well by the end of the summer im hoping to have a piercing and a tattoo. Just a small tattoo somewhere but thats a maybe. The piercing il definitely get but im still unsure. Do i get my nipple again or go for the hip??

And i need to go camping as well! Need to book the time off work and sort something out with Haribo <3

Im getting there, i dont think il get a new car or 2 and a half grand, No way in hell. But the rest? Well, we'll see :) xxxx

1 more down...

** 12 THINGS TO DO IN 2012 **
____________________________________________
1. Join a gym/create a gym


4. Get a piercing
5. Get a tattoo designed
6. Get to the next level in my job
7. Save up £2,5oo
8. Go camping



12. Get a new car

So, another one bits the dust. I have been abroad ladies and gentlemen. I went to Italy for a loong weekend, and it was amazing. The place we stayed at was this converted farmhouse into a villa, and it was huge! Had a swimming pool and everything, was bliss! So, so hot. Was a bit of a shock to come back to England for the highest temperature to be 15, and in Italy it to be just under 40.

I went to Italy for my cousins wedding, which was a bit of a strange one. Such a cultural difference in Italy, but i loved it!

Back now though, no more lounging around the pool in stifling heat :( BOO!

Hugs

A hug leads to a FB msg, a FB msg leads to a request, a request leads to FB chat, FB chat leads to texts, texts lead to phone calls, calls lead to cups of tea, tea leads to valentines day date, date leads to cuddles,  cuddles leads to arguments, arguments leads to becoming FB official, FB official leads to the start of a brand new relationship, that relationship leads to now

<3